What Just Happened Here?

Dear Friend,
and when I use the word "friend"
it really means that
the names I have for you
cannot be printed here
in good conscience,
Who in heaven's name
do you think you are?
Do you think that you are a
magical creature
of lust and charm?
because I'd like you to know -
it ain't happening.
It was nice meeting your girlfriend,
after having you hit on me
for two hours.
Maybe there is some sort of
attraction card
that I don't know about
involving awkwardness
and sleaze,
but from where I was standing,
you're a dick.