Shopping Ninja Sabotage

You could have just said

"It makes you look fat"

but oh no
Not you

You had to give
Reasons

"That color
Makes you look
Codependent"

"That skirt
Makes me think of summer
in Peru
When the monkeys were
chittering
and throwing rotten meat
at tourists
on the hot boardwalk
Everything smelled
like blood
and flowers"

"You want that hat?
Really?
You know, I never thought
of you as a cross-dresser before"

All of which would have been
effective
Had you not bought things
as soon as I put them down

Thank you for the detail

We are never shopping again